You’re Deserving of Real Love

    You’re deserving of the positive affection you crave from others. You don’t need to be trapped by negative words and actions from those who are selfish and manipulative. You don’t need to have people project their insecurities on you, and make you feel that you’re hard to love. No one is perfect; yet, that doesn’t mean you’re not deserving of real love.

     You’re meant to have a love that is more than a shallow imprint on your heart. You’re meant to have a deep connection that does not contain cords of abuse, manipulation, and pain. You’re meant to have a love that is not defined by lust, superficiality, or convenience. You’re meant to have a love that is not contaminated by the opinions or ideals of others.

     You’re deserving of real love: the kind that will sweep you off your feet, the kind that will feel like your dream has come true. You’re deserving of love that reflects peace, joy, and comfort-the type of love that will make you feel at home. You’re deserving of love with someone who you can’t live without-the kind of person who feels as familiar as your own skin. You’re deserving of love that you’re willing to fight for-a love that is healthy, mature, positive, brave, and fulfilling.

     You’re deserving of real love by someone who genuinely loves you for you, and who is willing to grow with you. Don’t waste time on temporary relationships or affections-real love is waiting for you; you need to take it and fight for it.

Your Choices Are Able to Affect Others

     Choices are a part of life: we have to make them daily. Choices are able to be big or small, positive or negative. Our choices are able to influence our own lives; and, they are able to impact those around us.

     The decisions we make are able to affect our family members, our friends, our significant others, our co-workers, our spiritual leaders, and our communities. How we decide to live our lives is able to make or break someone else’s life. How we choose to interact with those around us could harm or heal someone else’s heart. How we determine who we should or shouldn’t have around us could benefit or hinder others. 

     When we make foolish, immature, or unstable choices, we are able to create negative consequences for not only our lives, but for those around us. We are able to hurt our children, our friends, our significant others, and our communities when we don’t take time to measure out the impact and consequences of our choices. We are able to cause a lot of damage to those who love us the most if we allow ourselves to be blinded by the results our choices could create for others and ourselves.

     We need to make better choices; we need to make healthier, wiser, and stabler choices for our lives-and not only for ourselves, but for our loved ones.

Be Careful With Who You Hear

     Listening is an important part of our lives. We are able to learn about others, discover events of the world, and feel attuned in our hobbies and beliefs. We are encouraged to be good listeners: to clearly hear what others have to say. However, we have to be careful with who we’re hearing.

     Today, I visited a church that had this quote on their sign: “Be a good listener, but be careful who you listen to.” This advice hit home for me, especially in regards to my past experiences in which important relationships were polluted by poor advice, toxic opinions, and unhealthy counsel. Thus, I strongly felt the need to write about-and to encourage all of us-to be careful with whose words are playing through our minds; to be discerning of who we should and shouldn’t hear daily.

     People around us are usually willing to give us advice. Our political and spiritual leaders have speeches on the current events of the world. Our physicians and counselors tell us our prognosis and what tools are able to help us. These people aren’t necessarily bad-when they’re telling us sound, appropriate, and compassionate truth. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to tell us the truth; they may sugarcoat or lie about problems and solutions; they may encourage you to make poor choices; and they may be truly unhealthy in their soul and spirit to give healthy advice and opinions.

     We urgently need to be careful with who we hear on a daily basis. We may actually be poisoning our own minds and hearts in listening to toxic words that will do nothing but bring our loved ones and us harm. Those who are in a position of power delivering toxic goals, opinions, and advice are able to endanger a whole population. We need to grow in discernment, wisdom, and empathy for those around us-and for ourselves. We all deserve to live healthy and joyful lives; and we’ll not be able to do so if we’re in bondage to poisonous words.

Always Thank Those Who Are Genuinely There for You

     Bad times hit us all in different periods of our lives. We’re able to become discouraged, stressed, hurt, and grieved by our negative experiences. We also have our moments of feeling helpless, lonely, and forgotten. Thus, having good people around who’ll be there for you is greatly important.

     A lot of us need positive people to help us stay afloat when we otherwise feel like drowning. When depression, anxiety, and pain make us numb, hopeless, and worried, we need healthy people to guide us out of those dark places and onto light paths. We need good people to remind us of our worth when we lose our sense of identity. Compassionate people are able to hold our hand in reality when we feel trapped in a warped fantasy.

     The right people are able to be our anchors when we feel disconnected. They act as our compass as we’re pulled out of our nightmares to return to our dreams. They remind us to keep going when we want to give up in the midst of tragedy, grief, and pain. And, they make us remember that we will be okay, even though everything may feel like it’s not improving or it keeps falling to pieces. They help us hold onto the promise that hope is on the horizon, even though we may not see that hope be immediately fulfilled.

     We all need a positive, loving, and encouraging support system to help us persevere in the most excruciating moments of our lives. We all need to remember to thank the ones who are genuinely there for us, especially because not everyone is able to receive a healthy support system. Thank your loved ones-and replicate their love and hope to those who may need it.

Hurt People Hurt People

 

     Life is full of experiences. Some of our experiences are able to be beautiful, joyful, and healing. Other moments are able to be ugly, sorrowful, and painful. When we undergo any of these events in our lives, they are able to become part of our personality, as well as influence our interactions with others.

     A problem we may encounter is allowing our experiences to influence how we treat others-positively or negatively. Throughout my own life experiences, I have seen people take their pain and trauma to help them become better individuals: individuals who wanted to give others the love they never received; individuals who wanted to create peace and awareness; individuals who did not want to add to the destruction that already infected the world. However, not everyone is able to take their bad experiences and make good come from them.

     I also have seen in my own life people abusing and manipulating others because of their own pain and trauma. I have seen bullied individuals become bullies themselves; I have seen individuals create chaos and confusion. I have seen individuals attempt to add more fuel to the destruction that pollutes the world. Unfortunately, some people use their pain to create more pain for those around them, making others experience the hatred, embarrassment, heartache, and fear they endured.

     We need more compassion, empathy, and love in this world. And everyone deserves to have healing and closure for their pain and trauma. However, none of us should feel justified in taking our experiences out on others; none of us should thrive in making others undergo the same feelings we endured. We’re not confronting and healing from our problems; we’re just covering up our wounds and making others suffer for situations they didn’t cause.

     Allow yourself to heal from your experiences; give yourself the chance to grow from what you endured; and don’t abuse others based off your history.

Appreciate the Diamonds in Your Life

   We all will meet different kinds of people throughout our life. We will have times of joy and sorrow, laughter and tears, and peace and arguments. Some people in our lives may be our biggest triggers, fears, and heartbreaks, causing us much pain and humiliation. Hence, we need to appreciate those in our lives who aren’t like that.

     We need to appreciate those in our lives who are-or were-our biggest supporters, advocates, and defenders. They gave us the compassion and love we never experienced or had for long. These people serve as diamonds in our lives: giving shine to our experiences, feelings, and thoughts when we otherwise felt defeated and trapped in darkness. Therefore, they deserve our appreciation and support-not apathy or ungratefulness for all they do.

     No one is perfect; we all are capable of hurting those we love. However, if possible, we are able to apologize and make things right with others. If anyone has treated the diamonds in their lives as rocks, do the right thing: repent and validate them. Tell them and show them you care. Make amends as best as you are able. Give them the love and compassion they gave you. 

     Life is able to be full of hurtful, manipulative, and selfish people who are able to break us into pieces. Therefore, let us treat the compassionate, selfless, and encouraging people in our lives as the diamonds they are.

Fulfillment is Found from Within

     We have different components of our lives that help make us who we are: careers, relationships, and hobbies. However, while these things are able to provide us with some joy and success, they’ll never be able to give us the fulfillment we need to live a thriving life; we find that fulfillment within God and ourselves.

     For those who have a relationship with God or believe in His existence, God is able to fill that empty void in your soul, as He is our Creator and knows us best-knew us before we were even conceived. He is able to show you how much you’re loved and adored, as well as show you how precious you are to Him. He helps you find your identity in times of joy and sorrow.

     Furthermore, you’re able to find fulfillment within yourself. You have a lot to offer to the world and to those around you. You have talents, emotions, thoughts, goals, and dreams. You have the ability to create your own life and vision. You don’t have to let people and other outside pressures influence your life and goals. You don’t need relationships or jobs to make you whole; you are able to be fulfilled within your own identity. You are able to fill the void you have within you.

     Take care of yourself. Cultivate your goals, talents, and aspirations. Grow in your strengths. Overcome your weaknesses. Be true to yourself. Secure your own identity. And know that your fulfillment is from within; no one is able to take that from you.