Taking Responsibility of Life Choices

   Hey, all my readers! I’m sorry I’ve been MIA; I’ve been busy with work, personal matters, and starting my master’s program. I want to send out this short post before homework consumes my life.

     I would like to start my blog with a question: what does taking responsibility mean to you? It means to me that one owns up to his/her/their thoughts, words, and actions; it means accepting the consequences-positive or negative-and making effort to fix any errors or hurts that have occurred. When we take responsibility for our life choices, we’re working to be better versions of ourselves.

     I think a huge problem in our culture is a lack of responsibility: we barely are able to acknowledge the moments we were wrong. We’re more prone to shifting the blame of our choices on someone or something, rather than admit our flaws. We are more accepting of scapegoating our past, beliefs, illnesses, finances, and relationships than we are of moving forward from those circumstances. Consequently, we worsen our problems, further hurt our loved ones, and stunt our own growth.

     We need to become more willing to take responsibility for our life choices. Taking responsibility of our lives include being self-reflective and self-accountable; it means to look inwardly to evaluate the chaos caused in the external. Taking responsibility isn’t an easy process. However, when we hold ourselves accountable, we give ourselves more power to correct things, more humility to rectify hurts, and more growth to become better people.

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Second Poetry Book Published!!!

 Hey, everyone! I want to announce that I recently published my second poetry book! It’s called “Multicolored Ties-Songs and Poetry.” The book is available on Amazon under this link:

https://www.amazon.com/Multicolored-Ties-Songs-Poetry-Thoughts-Dreamer/dp/1688415882/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1567039705&sr=8-1

   If anyone is able to buy it, it’s deeply appreciated. Thank you to everyone who reads and supports my blogs; I am extremely grateful!

First Poetry Book Published!!!

    Hello, everyone! I completely forgot to post this a while ago, but I published my first poetry book four months ago! It’s called “Songs and Poetry from the East Side.” Again, I’m completely sorry I forgot to not say anything about it until now, but it is available on Amazon under this link:

https://www.amazon.com/Songs-Poetry-Thoughts-Quirky-Dreamer/dp/1092105190/ref=sr_1_1?crid=21CA9JLOMPUYW&keywords=poems+and+songs+from+the+east+side&qid=1565725022&s=gateway&sprefix=poems+and+songs+from+th%2Caps%2C156&sr=8-1

 

     If anyone is able to buy the book, it is greatly appreciated. As always, thank you for reading and supporting my writings. I am extremely grateful to you all.

Avoid Those Who Use You and Leave You Broken

     (Hey, all! I’m back with another blog-and this one is my 80th post! Thank you to everyone who reads, likes, and shares my posts; I truly appreciate you all. I’ve written some posts on toxic people previously on my blog; likewise, this 80th post will be about what type of people to avoid having in your close circle-and also in your heart.)

    Avoid those who use you and leave you broken. They do not care about how you were before they came into your life-and they certainly don’t care about how you are after they leave your life. They only care about what they’re able to receive from you, and only give you exhaustion and brokenness.

   Avoid those who guilt you into helping them. Some of them may genuinely need help for a bit; but once they receive that help, they become too comfortable and selfish. Even though they eventually fine on their own, they will still continue to take advantage of you. And, for those who never did need help, they’ll gladly use you for extra resources in order to not lift a finger. 

   Avoid those who deceive you into believing they’re good. Like wolves in sheep’s clothing, they’re on the prowl, waiting to devour you limb from limb. They attempt to gain your trust and heart in order to use your vulnerabilities, fears, and insecurities for power. Nothing pleases them more than knowing that you’re in their clutches. They feed off your feelings of powerlessness and defeat.

  Avoid those who drain you-physically, emotionally, financially, or spiritually. They will either drain you of some, most, or all of those things. They enjoy blinding you to their deceit, especially when others see and express how much they’re using you. Like a parasite, they latch onto you, emptying your pockets, body, soul, and spirit. They will gladly implement your desire to help them and your defense of them to suit their needs.

  Avoid those who manipulate you into ignoring the advice, concerns, and care of those who truly love you. They’ll gladly try to make the positive people in your life come off as crazy, selfish, or ignorant in order to keep using you. They’ll also create ways for you to not see these people, either through guilt tactics or seemingly kind actions. Their biggest goal is to keep you to use you.

   Avoid those who may be more overtly cruel: those who belittle you or mock you. They feel so small themselves; thus, they have to make you feel bad about your job, your hobbies, your interests, your friendships, your relationships, and your beliefs. Their goal is to make themselves feel bigger, and make you feel smaller. They employ sarcasm and passive-aggressive comments to make you feel worthless; they make you not feel good enough for anyone around you. They make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. They make you feel self-loathing and unhappiness in your character.

   Lastly, avoid those who are not honest with you, those who talk behind your back. They love doing nothing more than tearing you down to make themselves look better in front of others. Their objective is to make you look like a villain to others, to discredit you to those who barely know you. Your integrity and character are nothing more than obstacles to them.

   Whoever you are, I want you to know this: you deserve more than what these people are able to offer you. You deserve to feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel worthy, loved, and accepted. You have been made by a wonderful God who loves you infinitely. You also deserve healthy people in your circle: people who are trustworthy, honest, loyal, self-aware, encouraging, supportive, accountable, humble, empathetic, compassionate, and thoughtful. You deserve to feel the best and to have the best.

   So, to whoever was broken and used: allow yourself to walk away from those who don’t love or appreciate you; allow yourself to be healed; allow yourself to be surrounded by healthy people; and allow yourself to love yourself and to grow into a better you.

The Discovery of Joy in Trials

     Hello, everyone! I’m sorry it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. I’ve been dealing with some trials in my personal life. Coincidentally, what I’m going through prompted me to write this post about finding joy, even in some of the worst moments of life.

    So, what is joy? Joy is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as “the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.” Another definition for joy according to Patheos is: “joy is not happiness…it is…exhilaration, delight, sheer gladness, and can result from a great success or a very beautiful or wonderful experience.” Patheos also mention that joy is not always felt in good times of someone’s life. In fact, sometimes, joy is able to be felt even in bad times of someone’s life.

   I don’t know about you, but when I hear that I am able to experience joy even in the worst times of my life, I feel greatly confused by that seemingly oxymoron. I’m able to feel exhilarated when I’m dealing with struggles? I’m able to experience delight even when I feel like pouring out my sorrows? The answer to both is yes-you are able to feel joy even when life feels like it’s crumbling all around you. 

   Life is able to still be beautiful, no matter how ugly some situations are. Life is able to still be successful, no matter how draining some of your own thoughts make you feel. Life is able to still contain some very precious, wonderful moments, even in the midst of your pain, of your anguish. Our tears of joy are able to intermingle with our tears of sorrow.

    The definition and purpose of joy are often discussed in religious/spiritual text. Galatians 5:22-23 talks about joy being one of the fruits of the Spirit. James 1:2 discusses how joy is able to be achieved through and from trials. Nehemiah 8:10 goes further in declaring that we are able to find strength in the Lord’s joy. These texts encourage us to seek joy not only emotionally, but spiritually, as well. 

   As I’ve said, things have been a little rough for me…yet, I still find glimpses of joy in life. I feel joy when I’m spending time with positive loved ones who encourage me and keep me accountability. I feel joy when I’m in nature. I feel joy when I’m reading, listening to music, and singing. I feel joy when I’m drawing, writing, or crafting. I feel joy in spending time with my cats. I especially feel joy in spending time with God.

   I think a reminder that everyone-including myself-needs is that joy is attainable; it’s in the creases of our troubles, and it will equip us to persevere towards our victories.

 

 

References:

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/joy#other-words

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/christiancrier/2015/05/21/what-is-the-biblical-definition-of-joy-how-does-the-bible-define-joy/

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+5&version=NIV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=james+1&version=NIV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=nehemiah+8&version=NIV