(Hey, all! I’m back with another blog-and this one is my 80th post! Thank you to everyone who reads, likes, and shares my posts; I truly appreciate you all. I’ve written some posts on toxic people previously on my blog; likewise, this 80th post will be about what type of people to avoid having in your close circle-and also in your heart.)
Avoid those who use you and leave you broken. They do not care about how you were before they came into your life-and they certainly don’t care about how you are after they leave your life. They only care about what they’re able to receive from you, and only give you exhaustion and brokenness.
Avoid those who guilt you into helping them. Some of them may genuinely need help for a bit; but once they receive that help, they become too comfortable and selfish. Even though they eventually fine on their own, they will still continue to take advantage of you. And, for those who never did need help, they’ll gladly use you for extra resources in order to not lift a finger.
Avoid those who deceive you into believing they’re good. Like wolves in sheep’s clothing, they’re on the prowl, waiting to devour you limb from limb. They attempt to gain your trust and heart in order to use your vulnerabilities, fears, and insecurities for power. Nothing pleases them more than knowing that you’re in their clutches. They feed off your feelings of powerlessness and defeat.
Avoid those who drain you-physically, emotionally, financially, or spiritually. They will either drain you of some, most, or all of those things. They enjoy blinding you to their deceit, especially when others see and express how much they’re using you. Like a parasite, they latch onto you, emptying your pockets, body, soul, and spirit. They will gladly implement your desire to help them and your defense of them to suit their needs.
Avoid those who manipulate you into ignoring the advice, concerns, and care of those who truly love you. They’ll gladly try to make the positive people in your life come off as crazy, selfish, or ignorant in order to keep using you. They’ll also create ways for you to not see these people, either through guilt tactics or seemingly kind actions. Their biggest goal is to keep you to use you.
Avoid those who may be more overtly cruel: those who belittle you or mock you. They feel so small themselves; thus, they have to make you feel bad about your job, your hobbies, your interests, your friendships, your relationships, and your beliefs. Their goal is to make themselves feel bigger, and make you feel smaller. They employ sarcasm and passive-aggressive comments to make you feel worthless; they make you not feel good enough for anyone around you. They make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. They make you feel self-loathing and unhappiness in your character.
Lastly, avoid those who are not honest with you, those who talk behind your back. They love doing nothing more than tearing you down to make themselves look better in front of others. Their objective is to make you look like a villain to others, to discredit you to those who barely know you. Your integrity and character are nothing more than obstacles to them.
Whoever you are, I want you to know this: you deserve more than what these people are able to offer you. You deserve to feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel worthy, loved, and accepted. You have been made by a wonderful God who loves you infinitely. You also deserve healthy people in your circle: people who are trustworthy, honest, loyal, self-aware, encouraging, supportive, accountable, humble, empathetic, compassionate, and thoughtful. You deserve to feel the best and to have the best.
So, to whoever was broken and used: allow yourself to walk away from those who don’t love or appreciate you; allow yourself to be healed; allow yourself to be surrounded by healthy people; and allow yourself to love yourself and to grow into a better you.